The Final Moments
by SekaiNoAi
Summary: The end is in sight. Commander Shepard has finally arrived at the pinnacle of her mission to end the Reapers' cycle, once and for all. This is my take on her final thoughts and feelings before she loses everything for the sake of a brighter future for the rest of the galaxy. Shakarian One Shot, may be given a sequel at a later date.
1. Synthesis

**It's been too long FanFiction! ^o~  
A lot's been going on, including the fact that I played through the ME series. I finally finished my epic space adventure on Saturday and I loved it, start to finish; I don't care what people say about the ending, while not perfect, it was beautiful and I was in tears for hours afterwards.**

**I wrote this fanfiction though to elaborate and convey the emotions, the turmoil and the pain that I believe my FemShep went through to make it to the elusive end. Needless to say there are spoilers from here on in, so if you haven't yet finished the amazing series that is Mass Effect, turn back now!**

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I stood there awkwardly, dangling somewhat like a marionette whose strings were too long. I felt nothing yet everything simultaneously. A numbing sensation had settled across my very being, muffling the excruciating pain I should have been feeling from the injuries I had acquired to make it here. A warm and sticky, scarlet liquid poured persistently from my open wounds, making me feel more and more disorientated by the minute. My head rang unpleasantly from where I had landed as I had exasperatingly fallen before my cause. Willpower and determination alone had harrowingly dragged my dying body to this place and I could not give up now. But my mind screamed for it to stop, for it to fall as it had been meant to. It wanted an end, the sooner, the better.

And there would be one. _Just a little further!_ My aching limbs tumbled unwillingly in a forward direction. I must have looked like an overgrown infant, staggering forward on wobbling legs, but this final journey did not matter. Its ending did.

It felt as if it had been eons ago since I had made the decision, but I still had my doubts about the unprecedented path I was taking. Would it really provide the utopia it promised? _It had to. There was no other way. And if it did not..._ I cautiously gulped an uneasy breath of air causing a lump in my throat. An image of a reckless yet good hearted turian flashed in front of my deadened eyes and caused them to blink profusely as I desperately tried to stem the tears that would flow, to forget the promise I was breaking. _This was for him!_ I argued swiftly with my pathetic emotions. _This was no time to be selfish._

The platform ended a mere few metres away from my trembling feet. It was now or never. This _"solution"_ had to end today. Resolutely, I threw the battered pistol in my blood soaked hand to floor. Pain still gripping at every fibre of my being, I charged, faster than I had ever run before. In a way, it felt exhilarating knowing the end was in sight but the guilt of my promise weighed heavily against my heart. "Forgive me, Garrus" I whispered remorsefully as I leapt gingerly off the edge of the platform and into the beam of frenzied energy before me.

Freedom. I could feel the cooling rush of energy in every atom of my body as it slowly yet precisely began the task of combining our energy for the sake of the new world. I would have enjoyed the surreal sensation of being taken apart piece by piece if it were not for the fact that I could not let go, even then, when it was all too late.

_"Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you. Come back alive!"_

If I could I would have cried. I would have sobbed, wept, howled for the love that would no longer exist because of the choice I'd made. _No!_ It would exist. It would always exist. It seemed stupid to think it now, as the Crucible's energy pulsed through my very soul, but love conquers all and that wasn't something that could ever be ripped apart, even for the greater good.

_"It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you"_

I could almost hear the gentle hum of his flanging voice as if he were right beside me. The words stated the turian's worst nightmare, a galaxy devoid of his lover. I knew how much my impending death would kill him and I despised myself for not choosing the easy way out, for not being selfish enough to only pause the chaos. In turn, I despised myself for wanting the easy option for my own selfish desires.

_"And if I'm up there in that bar and you're not, I'll be looking down. You'll never be alone"_

_"Never!"_

Through the pain and the guilt, I managed one last smile. We'd meet again one day. Our parting was only temporary. When we were finally reunited, it would be forever, at last. I took comfort in that. No interruptions. No duties. No reapers. Just infinite time to ourselves. I was looking forward to it.

And then as soon as it started, everything stopped. The last atoms of my body were converted into the potent energy required for synthesis, the final evolution for all life, organic and synthetic. As I, Commander Shepard, ebbed away into the abyss, I felt the eternal peace that was lovingly welcoming me to the next world.

Life. It was an exquisite concept...


	2. The Calm After The Storm

_"I was hoping I wouldn't see you again, so soon"_ The first figure watched the second approach the bar, with regret in his battle worn eyes. As the second came closer, the first indicated for the newcomer to sit beside him.

_"I was hoping I wouldn't be here, either"_ The second figure grimaced before carefully taking her seat next to the first.

_"You look like you need a drink"_

_"I feel like I need twenty"_ Laughter ensued and the first signalled a drink for his friend. Miraculously, a whiskey glass appeared from which the second took a sip. _"Mmm... Perfect"_ She murmured, licking her lips, savouring every drop.

Sighing nostalgically, the first cupped his own glass in his hands and thumbed at the rim. He was exhausted, feeling as though he hadn't relaxed in years. After a moment, he turned to the second and asked _"Any regrets?"_

The second lowered her glass and looked the first straight in the eye before replying solemnly _"Many... But about the war, no. Everything we did had to be done. Even if it meant dying..."_ The second paused, staring down at her glass, trying to hold back the tears she knew would inevitably come.

_"We sacrificed a lot, but if it means our future generations get a shot at life, then it was not in vain"_ The first downed the last of his drink and signalled another.

_"Yeah..."_ The second's mind was elsewhere.

_"You did us proud, kid"_ The first watched the second, smiling gravely.

_"I don't exactly feel proud about it. Everything's still kinda raw"_ The second shook her head subconsciously, eyes still transfixed on her drink.

_"One day you will. One day..."_

_..._

The first figure stood up from his barstool, stretching and yawning. _"I'm off"_ He smiled sympathetically to the second.

_"Already?"_ The second questioned even though she knew the question was ultimately pointless.

_"Mm... Yeah... It's been too long since I last had a good nights kip"_

_"I'm gonna stick around for a bit"_ The second was physically and emotionally drained, but she couldn't leave in case **_he_** arrived. She hoped and prayed that he would not arrive for a long time but she would never forgive herself if he arrived to an empty bar.

Gently, the first patted the second on back. _"It's been some journey"_ He reminisced.

_"The best" _The second replied wistfully.

_"Night, Shepard"_

_"Night, Anderson"_

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**Thank you very much for reading :)**

**I intend for this to be a one shot but I may write a short sequel in the future. I can't say for sure as I have GCSEs starting in less than a week, so don't hold your breath.  
**

**~Sekai**


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